Celebrate Life!

My first post on my blog. My Life. My Way. Celebrate what you have today and you’ll find there’s more in life you have to celebrate. That’s the little saying carved on the little wooden poster I hang over my desk. 

So l’ll blog about the things in life that I love, that I treasure, that gives me joy. Sure, there are times that I am overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, but hey, things always happen for a reason, don’t they? So, rather than live in denial, I’ll share about it, and perhaps whoever is reading this would understand and well, have a laugh on me, and hopefully, share their experience as well! So we’ll both laugh about it! So here goes!

SF gave me a lift to his office today. From there I take either Bus No 14 or 16 to my Joo Chiat office. I enjoy rides in the morning. Especially so when I get up the bus and say a thank you with a smile to the driver. It’s important to be grateful for what we have. 

Bus rides are always good points for observations. Perhaps my training as a journalist has sharpened these skills. Or because I am in love with life itself. Yes, I am happy. The bus passes by Kallang Estate market. It’s thriving with lots of housewives and young children. It always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when I see neighborliness like this. Singapore seems to be slowly losing all of these. The smiles, the dialects, the kampung spirit, the “I-just-moved-in, let’s-get-to-know-each-other” sort of feeling is waning, if not disappeared.

Ooh! I love the sun in the morning! It’s so warm, so delightful. I just feel like getting out of the bus, and just walking. Especially the east. Especially Joo Chiat Road. It’s so 60’s, just like time never moved. 

Roots and the Connectedness It Brings….50 years ago in Bukit Brown

Let’s start from the beginning. My PhD. Strange, just woke up one day and said I wanted to do it. My bucket list. Is it like that? Did I just wake up and tell myself this? Or did my guardian angel whisper in my ear one night….hey, isn’t it time you connected to your roots? 

And so it begins……started off with a fascinating psychiatrist who became a good friend. DNA. Wow! If I hadn’t written my book, I wouldn’t have begun this fascinating journey. This is so crazy…. But I am happy. 

Like my friend, it starts with a deep longing. He wanted to find his biological parents. I wanted to find my father’s ancestry. Perhaps it’s this intuition that I had Manchu-Tibetan blood….weird, huh? But who knows? My childhood fascination with Chinese history, then my trip to Dharamsala which opened my eyes to compassion. I felt I belonged. 

This search has led me so many places. Let me learn so many things. I have this affinity to Penang. Now it’s coming back. There is a connection.

I think somewhere at the back of my mind is this image of Daddy clearing the grass along Sime Road and me standing about 10 steps below watching him. I must be seven or eight years old. So I was born a year after my grandma’s death. 

Sometimes you have to believe that God will lead you to discover what you need….when the time is right. And you have to do your own homework and trust in him. Never was it so miraculously revealed than in that hot sweltering afternoon in Bukit Brown Cemetery.

I think I come to an age where I need to explore my spiritual needs. Spiritual vs Religious. I feel there’s a huge distinction….I am spiritual, not religious. And I believe I have a soul…..which has travelled through many bodies. When I read Dr Brian Weiss’ books, it made so much sense. Past life regeneration. Yes, we all have past lives…..

Which is why I delve so intensely into research for my novel…. It is even more fascinating when you know it is about your own lineage….

I started off with finding my paternal grandparents. The only link I had on them was Daddy’s birth certificate and addresses in Geylang. It all drew a blank. But this memory….Daddy sweeping her grave in Sime Road on Ching Ming and I standing below the hillock, watching him…I never did have the chance to ask him about it. 32 years….a lot has happened since then. He would have been 91 if he was still around.

And he would have loved Facebook. Tell you why…. 

I ran out of options. My leads led nowhere. Mr Chan from Chan Khoo Association suggested I look at Kopi Swa (Coffee Hill) in Bukit Brown Cemetery (BBC). Yeong Chong from NLB Singapore Memory Project introduced me to Catherine Lim of BBC. She told me, hey, post in our FB page. I was skeptical…..after all, it was just a hunch. And it was 50 years ago….. But God works in mysterious ways! 

Faith. Belief. Call it what you like…..I posted in BBC’s page. And guess what! Within ten minutes I had a reply. OMG! I was asking about my Grandma who died in 1958….meticulous records kept by the British indicated my grandpa was also buried there in 1943. 

And a very kind Brownie, James Tann, offered to help me search in BBC. He was even so kind as to send me a note on Messenger, “Just to prepare you …. It’s not exactly a walk in the park (we do that only on weekends, haha) 

1. Wear covered shoes.

2. Be prepared for mosquitoes by the squadrons (repellent and long sleeves would be good)

3. Bring water (very hot day) and hat also good!

4. Be prepared to bash through shrubbery/thicket. It’s all overgrown and dense where your grandparents’ graves are.

I was prepared for items 1 to 3. I was not exactly looking forward to trudging in lallang and wild grass. But if Catherine Khoo is on the trail, she’ll grit her teeth and get there, no matter how! 

On a sweltering 34-degree afternoon on 22nd May, I met James at the entrance of BBC, now flanked by green aluminium boards which a very modern expressway will run. I wondered if we have paid too heavy a price in the name of progress. James tells me that official estimates are 5,000 graves will be affected! My heart dropped ….what if my grandparents’ graves are among them? But I squashed the negative thought away….I believe things happen for a reason and I’ve come this far….

Strangely, as the concrete pavement turned into a dirt track on the left, the heat didn’t grip so tightly….it gave way to a cooling breeze. As we walked through the track, I felt a surge of hope. Must be the stolid trees and green green grass which are silent guards to the memories of a generation. James told me he found his grandparents’ graves some years ago …. pay it forward… he understands the emotion and he wants to help me! Bless you, James! 

And so we dug in. We clambered over tombstone after tombstone. James brought a handy monopod to feel his way about. Be careful, don’t fall into an empty grave coz some might have been exhumed, he warned. And yes, there might be snakes. So I meekly walked behind him and trudged where he trudged. We found lot 132, but where was 133 where my grandma was buried? We kept on going, me treading gingerly….and I thanked God it wasn’t raining 🙂

He was patiently searching …. I told myself to look for the hillock, but most of the graves overlook a hill! ….. And I wandered off on my own…. Then we met Lim Hock Chye, or Ah Hock as the Brownies call him. He took care of the graves on Hill 5 or Block 5 and he had that confident look that told me he knew where my grandparents’ graves were. He and James went behind some trees, I plunged downward, still keeping my eye for the graves overlooking the hillock, but it seemed I was going around in circles ….

I heard James call my name. You found it? I asked, more a question, then a confirmation. But I was too far away to hear his answer. I headed in their direction, nearly missing an empty grave overgrown with grass. I clambered over a particularly large stone, but the stone gave way, I stumbled and for a second I thought I’ll fall …. Must be my guardian angel who guided me….like a dream, I felt myself propelling forward and as I turned into a shady nook, and saw the faces of both James and Ah Hock, my heart missed a beat! 

It took only 45 minutes but it meant so much to me! This is the first time I’ve “met” my grandpa and grandma. I am sure Daddy is smiling down at me. Maybe he is with them now, guiding me in what I do. I’ve found my roots! My next step, Khoo Kongsi, who I know have direct links to their ancestral village.  

This is getting exciting! Seek and I shall find!

Grandpa, Khoo Chiong Tat

  

Grandma, Wee Choo Neo

  

Grandpa died on 27 Dec 1943

  

Grandma died on 27 Oct 1958

  

Grandpa was from Sing Kang village, Fujian

  

Grandma also came from the same village

  

Their descendants, in Chinese characters

  

Their descendants, in English characters. My Dad’s Khoo Beng Chye

  

Guardian diety guarding their tomb on the left

  

….and on the right

  

The 5 hills of Bukit Brown Cemetery

  

My grandparents are buried on Block 5, Lots 133 and 146

  

The long road in….turn left at the shack

  

James Tann, my Brownie guide and Ah Hock, tombkeeper

 

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Dear friends who are following my blog, I am tracing my lineage beginning from my grandmother who ran a gambling den in Geylang way back in the 1940s. My dad swore off gambling because of that! It’s for a novel I am writing about a highly adventurous and courageous female who lived 1868 to 1958. Think Gone With The Wind. …. that’s my muse

Seriously, I lost touch with all my Dad’s relatives, so now am tracing way way back. Tough but hey, learning as I go along…. My grandma’s one tough lady!

I need lots of help. I will be posting photos and letters my Dad left behind on this page and thoughts as I travel this journey into my past. If it seems familiar or if you think you know someone, please, please let me know.

Take care and speak soon,

Catherine Khoo

Coffee and Conversation with Israel’s Literary Darling

Yes, it sounded intriguing. And Zeruya Shalev books have been translated into 25 languages. Added to that, a view to die for….. Overlooking the cultured greenery of Orchard Road and just behind a potential UNESCO heritage site, the Botanic Gardens. No, no one says No to this invitation.
I like intimate conversation with authors. I must admit I got hooked on this after my trip to the Iceland Writer’s Retreat. Though I stayed only four days, the intense sharing of authors such as Andrew Evans, Geraldine Brooks and Joseph Boyden provided me insights which helped me rethink my novel.

Zeruya underlined the motivations for writing. I an going to note this down here so I shan’t forget. So I can turn to it when sometimes I feel I am getting nowhere with my words. Three pieces of advice I will always remember:

Literature should make changes in people’s lives.

Set emotional borders. Not geographical borders.

Writing is not only about writing. It is also about listening to your characters.

So, yes, sometimes when I struggle, when all seems tough, it’s good to remember those words…..

Retirement? Hey, what does it mean?

Retirement is a very strange word. It connotes a time when u cease doing anything of monetary value and just wilt away. Or well, look after your grandchildren. That’s what us city folks think it is. So in Singapore, we have the official retirement age raised from 55 to 60 to 62 and perhaps soon, 65. And all around me are laments and rantings that “we can’t afford to retire coz we do not have enough savings to last till we are 80!” Oh! So what exactly is retirement?

I can’t quite grasp the word, and frankly, I wonder why it’s such a scary word to many people I know. It’s like the “c” word which spells cancer. And I wonder if it’s the effect of a kind of xenophobia that is strangling the country I live in? Sometimes I go to our shopping malls, and I see people walking around aimlessly….. Is it the bid to keep ourselves busy so we don’t have to think about our lives? Reminds me of HH The Dalai Lama’s “The Paradox of Life.”
So is it only me? Or is it that I have come to another phase of life? I am just thankful that I have come this far…. sometimes I wonder why I met The Dalai Lama? And why I feel so drawn to his philosophy?
Compassion. Love. This is what the world needs more of. Just like Mother Teresa said, we can only help one person at a time.
Which is why I don’t know the meaning of retirement. I think there’s so much to do. I know my vision of giving each child the right to dream and write somehow will lead me to the Tibetan Children’s Village. I just have to believe and follow my dream.

Love, Japanese Style

On the way to Kagoshima, our tour guide, who happens to be a Taiwanese married to a Japanese, was sharing about the merits of being married to a Japanese wife. Truth be told, or if you are a Japanese wife reading my blog….. Tell me if it’s this tradition today. Here goes: A Japanese wife does not work. She wakes up at 5:30 to wake up her kids for school, sends them off, then prepares breakfast for her husband and off he goes for work. And yes, the husband gives his whole pay packet to his wife. And her husband does not return home till late. He treats the house like a hotel. Out early morning and back really late. Why? Coz the Japanese home is so small that the couple will get in each other’s way. The only time they spend together is during the weekends. Seems to me this is like most cities in the world…… the quest for economic gains has eroded the family togetherness. Yes, I’ve heard this many times, have even lived through this. Therein lies the similarity. Now, again I need someone, a Japanese lady of a good enough age to verify this. The Japanese government actually gives every month, to every couple at age 65, ¥25k for the husband and ¥10k for the wife. Cool, isn’t it?
And my guide said something that hit straight home. The couple discovers love, meaning really knowing and understanding each other, only when they retire and well, spending time together.
Isn’t this so romantic? But will it work in today’s world? I find this really sweet but then, if you have read my book, you’ll wonder how much patience is needed on both sides. Can we? I believe it’s a matter of believing in the positive. No one’s perfect.

I love Japanese temples. They are so serene.

The man of my life....

At Sakurajima. Behind us is an active volcano

Kumamoto Castle

The solid strong temple gate

Big open spaces give breathing space. This is what everyone needs!

So majestic, the power of nature!

Coastal Kagoshima

Overlooking Kagoshima Harbour. Notice the glow..... Just after the hot sand bath.

Villages nestled in a sea of green. Can I retire here?

The Price To Pay For Peace

9th May 2014. After 16 years, I came back to Kyushu. Last time I came was on a press trip. SIA started flights and invited PHP Institute, and I went along. It was an eye-opener….. for Kyushu, especially Nagasaki and the Peace Museum, made me wonder why we fight and when we do, why do we have to inflict so much suffering and pain to our fellow men?
Aristotle once said, “We make war to have peace.” Noted gurus and philosophers argue that, only in suffering, can we see the true nature of men.” Perhaps this is so. Or how can we explain the decision to drop the atomic bomb on Japan’s civilians? Who are going about their normal lives on the morning of 9 August 1945? I felt my hair stand as I saw the pictures of the victims, who a moment (yes, just a second) ago, was either reading a book, or tending to their vegetables in the farm, or writing at their desks in school. In a flash (pun intended), the world became a bitter pill to swallow, for the power of science in the hands of men who wielded the most power, begs a question: Should we play God? Or is God playing with us mere mortals?

The victims of the war

Mother's love brings contentment in death

Thank goodness it happened instantly for him

Clothes are not scant protection from extreme burning heat

Fatman changed the way the world. Energy became a weapon of mass destruction.

Death, death everywhere and not a soul in sight

A new home in Arts Place!

Shifting out of Joo Chiat was a heartache for me …. as I’ve invested lots of love and care when I moved in in 2011. There was The Orange, where parents can linger over a cup of coffee while their children have fun learning in The Reading Room, my very own mini library in the attic. There’s The Storybox, where great ideas come to fruition onto Mac desktops. Where Young Reader Club magazine comes to life. Where Young Author Club books see the light of day. There’s The C-Lab, my own little room, where the sun shines in every morning …..

But then again, it’s not the size that matters, but the passion that is always there. I’ve found our niche in Waterloo Centre, where it’s been built as a Arts Place, and yes, as snug as I can be …. our little place to build the next generation of thinkers and writers. Welcome home, Janus team! And yes, the memorabilia does tell its own story ….. stories I’ll share as the Young Author Scheme saga continues!

The Young Author Scheme Wall … proud moments for our published authors. The huge poster is the UN Charter!

Welcome to Janus Education and Experiences & Experiments Books!

Our little corner where you’ll find books of all genres and pictures of old Singapore! A true conversation piece!

Welcome to the interview couch, and home to the one-eyed dolphin and the uncrushable carrot. Many have come to snuggle, to share thoughts on how to build a better world, how to be more creative, and to rest a weary head!

Be entranced by the unique Janus hallway ,,, peppered with intriguing quotes and magnets collected from all corners of the world! Welcome to colourful cultural stimulation!

Tucked away in the corner …. you can never believe the capacity of this storeroom! Come visit to see for yourself!

What makes me tick? What makes me happy? My three girls and my computer!

The other side of me! Look up … what do you see? Good old Tweety Bird and Cheery Chubby Hampy, the oversized hamster and tucked in between is Keroppi the Frog!

With Ms Tay, my husband’s faithful secretary of 18 years! Bought this ficus tree some two years ago …. now it stands tall outside!

Thank you, everyone, for making 2013 special for me!

2013 was the year I learnt about taking life one step at a time. I learnt that self-worth is more important than net worth. It’s not how much I have. It’s how much I enjoy that makes me happy.

2013 was the year I learnt that nothing in life is to be feared … it is only to be understood. I finally opened up about my life as a mother, daughter-in-law, daughter and wife. And it never felt so liberating!

2013 was the year I learnt that I cannot do everything on my own. There’s a greater force that guides me. I discovered the power of God’s love.

2013 was the year I discovered the meaning of reaching out to other women (and men) through my book, Love! Live Dangerously! And Have Fun! I gave two workshops on Writing From The Heart, with Women’s Initiative on Ageing Successfully (WINGS) and National Cancer Centre of Singapore (NCCS).

I loved 2013 ….. then, I received two emails which moved me to tears and made me more determined to inspire others to live their best life. I share both emails here, coz it made me want to hug my two friends for making 2013 so unbearably special for me! And yes, remembering the people and events I love and cherish through my photos ..

Dear Catherine,
I chance upon your book through a colleague who attended a talk about women’s menopause last month..I was immediately attracted to your book title…So I asked her to loan me your book …
It’s half read but i felt so connected …. it compelled me to write you an email…some excerpts of your book that touch me…my soul..probably I am going thru a midlife crisis ..
See I am turning 49 next yr..so close into the big 50…I am a divorcee with three kids living in Melbourne..
I felt intense loving bonding moments when I read about your CNY trip to spend with Pauli..the pelicans feed & walk in the park…simply magical…
I am motivated by your undying pursuit of your passion, your dream. so marvellous … I salute to your bravery…BRAVO!!
Its my hope to finish your book by 31 Dec 2013 to end the year and prepare to make more betterment in 2014..
Wishing you a magical new year!
Yes, things happen for a reason…
truly yours,

Hi Catherine,
Can’t let the year pass by without wishing you a grand new year ahead.
Been tardy again. Advent is behind us and so many things are still not done.
A number of books at the bedside vying for my attention. Store room needs a makeover.
Too laid back. Gotta find the zest of life again. Time fly off faster than a hurricane.
Gotta be more resolved to be more productive. Distractions, not busy schedule are the enemies
of good time management. Thus must instill a greater amount of discipline.
Will definitely spend some time each week, or perhaps every other day for some reflection, not just in the mind, but to put thoughts on paper, or on the computer. That’s my new year promise to myself. And you.
Thank you for the write trigger.
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Friends who taught me about the power of laughter and hope

Mrs Jetsun Pema, aka HH The Dalai Lama’s sister, who taught me about unconditional love.

My N6 Cluster Advanced Young Author Scheme class …. where stories are best shared

It was truly an Amazing Journey … where giving taught my journeyers about life’s blessings …

Looking out from my room in Mcleod Ganj, Dharamsala …. overlooking the Himalayan plateau

Sitting among Men in White in Bangkok’s celebration as UNESCO World Book Capital 2013

The Young Author Scheme in Manila …. yay! Finally going international!

Happiness is doing simple things together! I love you, Paulina!

Cambodia taught me that every child has a dream. Every parent wants to fulfil this dream for them!

Coolest ride of my life. That’s me, in the red-rimmed cap and sticking her head out whilst trying to keep her white hat on, is Paulina. Tis divine, flying over the Barossa Valley in Adelaide, and then partaking of a delicious champagne breakfast in a vineyard. Life begins at 50! And yes, this photo was inspiration for my book cover.

Can a woman Love! Live Dangerously! And Have Fun! Sure, why not?

Red, the colour of love!

Angels or rascals?

I’ve come this far, jumped this high …. I know I can do it!

Writing From The Heart workshop for NCCS. It was a truly humbling experience for me. I learnt the power of living life in the present.

Beijing in January 2013. Minus 17 degrees but loved the warm family togetherness

My Learning Family Programme Alumni (LFPA) family. I learnt that social responsibility must come from the heart, not just from pockets.

An unforgettable homecoming! An unbelievable 2013!

It was a homecoming for me ….. Xmas lunch at Waterloo Centre, my previous office. Where I would be moving back to, come January 10. Seems like deja vu. But boy, I’ve learnt so much these 30 months. The power of quiet and silence, the power of teamwork, the power of belief in my dream. Hey, 2013 was a year of consolidation for me.
I managed to launch the Young Author Scheme in Manila, mentoring 25 seriously-talented 10 to 14 year olds. Next would be Hong Kong … And who knows where we would travel to next?
I finally completed my inspirational memoir …. And if I can coach kids to write, I can coach other women to do so, too!
Thanks to everyone who walked this journey with me ….. My ever-supportive husband, my family, my Janus team, my friends. Without them, there would be no tell-it-all. Love! Live Dangerously! And Have Fun! will kick off a series written by women, for women.
And I’ve also kicked off my workshop Writing From The Heart with the National Cancer Centre and WINGS (Women’s Initiative For Ageing Successfully).
And to make 2013 more memorable, the first in my series of Asia’s Lost Legends: Justice Bao and the Case of the Missing Coins, was nominated for Popular Book’s Reader’s Choice Award! What more can I ask for?
Of course, if you have read my Love! book, you’ll realize that Chapter 15 says it all: If you know enough is enough, you will always have enough!
And how do I know what is enough? I try to live each day well and go to sleep with forgiveness in my heart and lots of gratitude to God for the day that had just ended.
Merry Xmas, everyone, and a blessed 2014 to you! Remember to always find time for yourself!